Black rose

Often comes a day

when they show their true colours,

those you thought as friends

Ripping off the face, you find another inside.

Rip Rip Rip 

Realising that beneath the faces is all rotten and dead

You cry for it is late and the loss is great

But darling better late than never.

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My Arch-nemesis

All these years I was convinced that my nemesis was out there, hiding behind one too many faces. It was a herculean task to figure who is hiding behind those faces. A friend or a foe? By the time I figured them out, I couldn’t look at them in their faces for I doubted them all along and they turned out to be just fine.

I searched for my nemesis everywhere. In my list of social media followers, inside my own family, in the dark alleys by the roads I walk home, in my teachers and tutors. I was afraid they are going to be the reason of my downfall. I had perfect reasons. “My teacher is my nemesis because I ask too many questions in the class and he doesn’t like it.”, “My social media followers are mocking me behind my back.”, “Someone is waiting in the alley to mug me.” I was so sure that all of them want my downfall.

I was positive that I had a lot of nemesis out there. Until I looked inside. It took a long time for me to do that. And when I did that, I found out that dark, soul leaching demon I searched all my life, right inside myself. It was everywhere in my mind. all the tiny crypts and corners were full of it. Dark and dreary. Creating wicked thoughts. Destroying my peace. I saw it laughing at my naivety, laughing harder because I was looking for it all around the world when I had it right inside me.

Hence began my battle of chasing it out. It has been inside me too long, it knew how to fight back. it fed on my fears and flaws. My self doubts and anxiety were its weapons. It took me a long time to fight my demons away. But when I did, I did not just chase them away. I made sure I destroyed them all.

It’s time we all look inside us for our nemesis and kill them before they kill us.

Family.

Family are those who don’t laugh when you fall
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Except for your best friend. That creature laughs at everything.

Life.

Life isn’t about going from breakfast to lunch. It isn’t about going from school to college either. Jumping from a bad break up to the next guy/girl we meet, NO. Definitely not that. Life is about knowing who we are. It’s all about finding who we are when we don’t have anyone around us. That is when we really learn things about ourselves.

No matter how many times a mom holds her baby’s hands for it to stand on its’ feet, the baby needs to stand on its own to take its first step. Just like that we need to stand on our own to find out what is in store for us in future. And I think that is what life is about.  That is where happiness is.

Friendship

What is friendship between a girl and a boy?

What got lost in between,

the love she had for him

and the lust he had for her

is Friendship.

Scars.

Scars given by words
are the worst of all sorts.
Worse than those given by swords.

A strike would sting, swell and smart
nothing a bit of salve can’t soothe.
But
the words would stay in you
make you strained and suffocated too,
for those would be your
3am wake up call and your
3pm nightmare.

I miss you and a lot of other things.

I miss you at 3 am,

when the world is dead to the sounds.

When it is so quiet I can hear

my own breath.

When the night is cold, but I’m colder.

I miss you then, I miss my warmth.

But then,

I miss at 12 noon too.

When the world is in chaos.

When it is so loud I can’t

hear my own voice.

When the days are hot, but my heart is scorching.

I miss you then, I miss my peace.

But then, I miss you every moment

When the world sleeps

When the world is awake

When everyone is happy

When everything is colourful

I sit here dull and lost,

deprived of my spark.

I miss you then, I miss my spark.
image

Love.

Of all the people on Earth,

we fall in love with

the only one

who’s incapable of returning it.

Isn’t that how love works?

The pieces we leave behind

You left him saying he’s just a boy. It broke him.

I picked up the pieces. Loved every bit of it. Gave him my heart and soul and made him into a man. He was happy. I was in love. It was heaven.

He threw me into hell by saying, now that I’m a better man, I’ll wait for her. She’ll surely accept.

I don’t know if he’ll win you someday but I lost both him and myself that day.

Back at square one. The only difference is I’m picking up myself this time.

First blog post

I’m a twenty-one years old island girl possessing an unending love for beaches, books and biotechnology (not necessarily in that order). Often in my life I find myself alone and lonely. So I’ve decided to take up this little space in WordPress to reflect on my life and to find my tribe. 🙂

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